Pro's and Con's

I do not know why I let some things bother me. Really, Joanna? It doesn’t matter! At all! Well now that I’ve officially yelled at myself, would you like an explanation? Well, let me give you one.

Africa is my passion, no joke there. I’m sure you all know this and can tell! It’s what I talk about like 80% of the time, it’s my ultimate goal and I cannot talk about my future without talking about Africa (and giggling like a little girl while doing so)! This is me, who God changed me to be! Who He made me to be! So why do I feel the need to yell at myself? Well, I sit here and think of all the tiny, little cons about moving to Africa soon (like within a few years soon!). Like it might mean I miss weddings of my close friends or siblings. I might miss big events like friends being engaged, them planning a wedding, the actual wedding and all the other things girls talk about way too much. Maybe I would miss when my parents retire or their milestone birthdays or maybe it’d mean I’d miss out on just the small fun things they do. Don’t get me wrong, being a missionary in Africa is the one thing that I want more than ANYTHING else in the world! And I know people here will move on with their lives, it’s inevitable. But I don’t think these feelings come from an “Oh, everyone has to sit around and miss me now because I moved to a different continent!” Not at all! It’s just hard to see a bunch of big things happening and not being around for them.

So, what’s to be done about this? Hmnnn…..I know that God has called me to live in Africa. I am about 99% that He’s calling me to Rwanda, on a full time basis, within the next few years. So, what is the worst thing? I get to become close friends with Skype and talk to people at weird hours? I can do that! Yup, these are the things that I think of when I can’t sleep at night. These small, stupid things.

However, on almost the exact opposite of the spectrum, I do also think of all the amazing pro’s of this plan! Living in Africa, meeting completely new people, living and gaining some super close fellow missionary friends, maybe meet a missionary boy (?) – sorry, I just had to stick that one in there. So yes, the good FAR outweighs the bad!

These are the things I think of at night.
So there it is. An insight into my awake but sleepy mind.
And yes, my mind is still going!

~Joanna~

P.S. No, I did not write this when I couldn’t sleep. I wrote it when I was supposed to be studying for a sociology exam that I have in about 8 hours. Maybe I should try to sleep?