Freedom.

A few weeks ago, I began the Daniel Fast. For a while I had just been feeling distant from the Lord. I wanted more, but never was able to dig in, for whatever reason. So, I know I need a divine distraction from all my distractions. So I began the fast.

The first two weeks of this fast were a fight. I was more focused on what I could or couldn't eat, making sure I didn't mess up and then feeling guilty when I gave in and ate something I wasn't supposed to. I shared my frustration with a very close friend of mine. She told me something that I knew but needed to hear, "If you fail, thats ok. If you give in, dont give up. Seek the Lord and He's going to honor that. Just dig in". So I slowly started to.

As much as I wanted to dig in, I just felt like I had no shovel. I felt like a failure. So again, I talked to this dear friend of mine. She was so encouraging! Right now, she is going through and intense three month lecture just on life with Jesus. So, she shared some things that she had been learning. Because we are freakishly similar, what God had told her also really spoke to me.

I had an orphans heart. A heart that always told me that God was distant, that I was ugly and useless, that I was a failure and worthless. So, with this new realization, I went to Jesus. I poured my heart out and waited. I waited for Him to speak. Before I knew it, He had given me a response for every negative thing that my heart had come to believe. And then....freedom.

You know how it war movies, there is that one intense battle. It's the final battle, your down several men. You're tired, you're weak and you really are just ready to die. But yet you go in to battle and just give all. Then finally, you look up, it's quiet. You stand and look around you...your enemy has fallen! You are victorious! That burden of war is totally gone! Thats what was going on in my heart! Those lies were gone, the chains were broken and I was set free. Get that? FREE.

In the past two-ish weeks, God has blown my mind. I experienced freedom! He's been teaching me things. 

I whole heartedly believe in the work of the Holy Spirit, but yet I've never really experienced it much in my personal walk.. I believe that those gifts of the spirit : prophecies, supernatural healing, speaking in tongues, etc.I've prayed that He would fill me and just move, but I guess I never really thought it could happen to me. In the past two weeks, the Lord has given me four prophecies. Two of which were for a certain friend. When I shared these, we both just cried. It affirmed things for both of us! 

Ugh, man. I can't even find the words to share how amazing Jesus is! I've experienced Him on a whole new level! I just want more! I cannot contain my joy right now! JESUS!!!!