Not your average missionary.

Last week, I had the opportunity to go to Uganda. A few days before, I was asked if I wanted to go to Jinja for a week for a seminar. After a few details were worked out, I was on the road with my travel buddy, headed for Jinja, Uganda!

This seminar was about member care: caring for our team of missionaries. And to be honest, at first I had no idea why I was going. I mean, sure, the idea of just going to Uganda seemed fun. But really, who am I to go and represent this base? So many thoughts filled my head. Mostly being "Why me?" I am the youngest (I think) staff with YWAM Rwanda. I am one of the newest staff. Not only am I new to YWAM, but also to full time missions AND to living in Africa. I am young and inexperienced.

The conference began and I was still wondering why I was there. Many of the other people were older (by like 10 or 20+ years), they had been with YWAM 10, 15, 20+ years, they had so much experience. They were well matured in thier walk with God and in life as a missionary. And then, there is me. And so there I was, in Uganda, feeling like I was in the completely wrong place. Yes, it was encouraging to be around so many missionaries. People who had made the move to missions many years ago and still have a passion to serve. I loved hearing stories of outreaches and success stories. And the seminar itself was good. I learned how and why I should love and care for my fellow staff. I realized how important care and encouragement is in missions. However...I was still wondering why I had come.

That night (the first day there), I sat with the two main speakers at dinner. I shared what I do here in Rwanda, my vision, how I got here, all that jazz. And their response surprised me. "Wow! That's incredible!" And from that moment, it was as if one of the ladies took me under her wing. These two women travel the world and teach at different YWAM bases on many topics. They both are full of wisdom, encouragement and love for missionaries. Also, one of these amazing ladies is originally from MI! Maybe thats why we bonded.

Half way through the week, I felt so overwhelmed by my own thoughts, feelings, or whatever they were. And so right when it was enough to make me want to leave, I opened my Bibl (if only that would have occured to me sooner). And I began reading in 1 Timothy. And I felt so encouraged. Age should not and does limit passion for the Gospel!

That very day in the seminar, a question about age was asked. And the response grabbed my heart! It was like Jesus was sitting next to me, padding me on the shoulder saying "See? I told you so!" "A young person can have passion for ministry, passion for those they work with. So if there is a staff member that has a passion for that: missions, the nation, the missionaries, for people in general and for the Lord - let them lead!"

And through that, I realized something. I am not the average missionary. I am young (23, in case you're wondering). I am single. I didn't finish college (in fact, I'm a community college drop out). I didn't go to a missions school. I never wanted to be a missionary, or ever come to Africa, as a child/teenager. I have tattoos - no, I don't regret them. I actually quite like them. I haven't spent years in language study (but will soon begin!). My testimony is far from a clean cut story.  I don't know the Bible as well as I should. I don't always have the perfect advice. Many mornings, I choose sleep over quality time with Jesus. I don't pray as much or as passionately as I should or want to. Sometimes I get tired of all the "Spirituallness" of being a missionary. I hate fundraising. And to be honest, most of the time I feel like I am failing as Christian. But yet, Jesus has shown me that this doesn't matter. I am a hot mess - but Jesus is using this mess. He's holding me together and using my messy-ness to impact a Nation! The beautiful thing is this: there is a new breed of missionaries rising up! They are young, they are wild, reckless, passionate, not a cookie cutter Christian, full of faults and failures. But we are missionaries. And because of Jesus - lives and nations are being changed!

Being a missionary doesn't mean you have your life together. It doesn't require and impressive resume. and it doesn't have an age limit. It requires a heart ready to be broken. It requires a passion for the Lord and for others and for a nation. And even though I feel so unqualified, like 95% of the time, to even live here - I know I am in the right place!

 So, to wrap up this jumbled mess of words and feelings, here's some of the Word!


1 Timothy 1: 5, 12-20
5 The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heartand a good conscience and a sincere faith.

12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 13 Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal,invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

The Charge to Timothy Renewed

18 Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, 19 holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith.20 Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme.