I forgot why I moved

Sometimes I forget why I moved to Africa. Ok, ok, no, I did not litterally forget why I packed up and moved accross the world. But sometimes I forget my purpose of being here. Between my busy schedule of office work, home visits, support groups, preparing for conferences and outreaches, language study, communicating with friends and family, keeping myself sane and bulding/growing relationships here - it can be easy to forget Jesus. And before you judge me as a horrible Christian and unfit to be a missionary, let me explain.

Missionaries are busy people. Especially when they are single, young and fairly new to a country. Because not only do we have work to think and worry about. But we have to figure out how to simply live. If you need an atm, sometimes you have to try like 25 times before being successful. And thats just frustrating when you're already late on your rent. You have to have friends and relationships. You have to find that balance of working hard and resting enough. It's a busy life. Which, it's not really that different than any other line of work. It's just a tad more complicated when you're in a new country.

And in all that business, it's so easy to loose sight of what should be priority #1 - Jesus. I love Jesus. I love being in His presence, and I wish I was better at always being tight with him. But because I am a flawed and sinful human being, I get so busy with life that I forget to go to the Life Giver. But, on Monday, I had an awakening. Honestly, it felt like I was trampled like a hurd of elephants. You know, that sudden impact that just leaves you feeling rotten? Yup, that was it.

A dear friend of mine took the time to write out notes and scriptures and sent them with me when I returned to Rwanda. And what did I read on Monday morning?

" How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of my Lord! My heart and flesh cyr out for the living God!" Psalm 84:1 - 2

And then we had worship and again, Jesus was tapping on my shoulder. Almost to be like "Hey, remember me? You should come hang out with me!" Maybe I should explain why this was so huge to me. I love Rwanda, Aprecom, ministry, and everything about living in Africa. But for a few weeks, it's been hard to have joy. For whatever reason, I just felt "eh" instead of joy. A week ago, my roomate and best friend in Rwanda moved to Uganda, and now I live alone. I am not good when left alone. So that was also adding to my "eh" feeling.  So all of these things just made me sad, tired and just feel void of any joy. 

And I realized that the lack of my joy was coming from my lack of time with Jesus. I felt so tired and lifeless because I wasn't in the presence of my Creator. I felt sad and lonely because I wasn't communicating with the only Joy giver. And man, the difference after being with Jesus - like night and day! 

So moral of the story, always have time with Jesus. It doesnt matter how busy you are. How Christian or "holy" your profession may seem. No matter the country you live in, the language you speak (or try to speak), no matter if you live alone or with many others - Jesus should always be first. Even after a long day, no movie, no amount of tea or biscuits can relax you like Jesus. So there it is...now, ya'll gotta keep me accountable! Let's go get us some Jesus!