Tonight I got a message from a dear woman in Rwanda. She is one of the most amazing people I have had the pleasure of ever meeting. Anyways, she ended the message with the Kinyarwanda word "ihangane". And I didn't have a clue what this word meant, hey I'm still learning Kinyarwanda. So, I googled it. And if Google is correct, it means "to be patient". And this ministered to my heart in such a special way. Because, if I am honest, I have not been patient. Mostly in the area of finances.
Honestly, I am worried. I’m scared. I feel overwhelmed and have just the slightest hint of hopelessness. And the reason for it all seems so small, so simple and so minute yet like a mountain at the same time. Money. That’s all it is. Just money.
See, I just found out that I need to get nearly $3,000 by 10 September. That’s less than a month away. I don’t have that, nowhere close. In order to finish my school and do my outreach in Togo, I need to seemingly pull $3,000 out of thin air. But how?
I’m getting married next year. A wedding costs money. A wedding dress costs money. And then, it would be nice to have a house to live and food to cook for my husband. But, we don’t have it. I’m scared. I live on support, it’s not like I can just pick up a second job. He also lives on support because our Father has called us to the missionary life. And while at times it can be overwhelmingly amazing, it can, at other times be, overwhelmingly stressful. Especially in the area of finances. In a matter of only month, our financial needs will about double as we go from two to one but with two mouths to feed. But, how?
See, I know the typical answers, and I believe it. God is faithful. God will provide. He knows our needs. All of that is true. But sometimes, just sometimes, it’s hard to firmly grasp to that. It’s hard to hold so tightly to that that theres no room for fear, stress or worry. It’s hard to talk about my need with a smile and firmly believe it with every fiber of my being when I say “God is faithful”.
But even if I doubt. Even I have mental breakdowns. Even when I’m ready to get the cheapest wedding dress I can find, even if I don't love it, just because it’s cheap. And even if I wonder if I, if we, are doing things in the right timing…God is faithful. He promises to care for his children. He takes joy over lavishing gifts on his children. He tells us over and over to calm down, to not be afraid and to give it all to him. Why? Because HE IS FAITHFUL.
Something I’ve learned is that he is so faithful. And while I may freak out, cry and cry out to him, begging him to perform a miracle, he always does it. I just get this impression he has a big smirk on his face. Imagine a father and a young child. This child’s birthday is coming up. There is a certain toy that he just loves. He begs his daddy for it over and over and over again. And every time his dad just says “Oh? Ok.” and the father get’s a smirk. Sometimes he throws in a “Just wait.” Or a “I know what you want/need”. But what the son doesn’t know is that the father has already gotten him his birthday gift; that toy that he has been begging for. So every time the child begs for it, the smirk comes to the fathers face because he knows that he’s already gotten it for him. He knows, and he is so excited to give this gift to his son. But there is a surprise. Not only is the father giving his son what he has asked for, but he is giving him even more. Why? Because he is a father who loves to lavish gifts upon his children.
God has been showing me this picture lately. And sometimes that little smirk on his face can seem evil and flat out rude. But it’s a smirk that says “My daughter, just wait…it’s coming. And it’s going to blow your socks off. Be patient” Ok, be patient. Got it. I am trying to be patient. But it’s rough. So rough. But yet I know, when he comes through, when he gives me that gift, it will blow me away…so I am patiently waiting.
And that brings me to the slightly uncomfortable part of this post. Asking for money. I am not begging, I am not trying to guilt you into giving, nor am I only posting this to get money. I am simply sharing my needs and asking you to pray with me.
So, as you know I have been studying primary health care in South Africa for the past two months.
And in one month, my team and I head out on our outreach. We’re going to Togo! I am so excited for outreach! We get to help people in a physical and spiritual way. I get to tend to the body as well as the heart. Guys, peoples lives are going to be changed! And I hope I am equally impacted by these two months in Togo!
However, outreach is not cheap! I need roughly $2,500 by 10 September (yup, I know it’s soon) in order to cover my outreach fee’s. This money will cover my flights, food, accommodation and any other expenses while traveling or in Togo. So, I am throwing out a challenge, a call to action, if you will.
Will you pray with me? Will you pray about giving towards my expenses? If 100 people each gave $25, my fee’s would be covered! Whether you feel led to give $5 or $1000, your donation makes a big difference.
I would like to challenge you to act. Whether that's an act of getting on your knees, or pulling out your wallet. What will you do?
And to make this even easier... Donate now!