God, I feel like they don't understand! It's like they don't get that I feel a true calling from You! They don't understand that you have burdened my heart with Africa. I mean I know I haven't even gone yet, but even now I feel so in love with the continent and I just want to go all over! Ever since that dream I had where I was full time in Africa, I've been thinking about it a TON! It sort of makes me wonder, is culinary arts where You truly want me? Don't get me wrong, I love it and it's my dream to have my own bakery. But at the same time, I feel a super strong pull to missions.
I just find the whole thing funny because when I was younger, I didn't want to be anything close to a missionary. Mostly because everyone would just assume I became a missionary because my parents were. Honestly, as much as I love and respect my parents, I don't want to follow in their footsteps. Now, I know that seems harsh, just hold up a second and let me explain. By going into full time missions, I feel like I would get way to many "oh you're following in your mom and dads footsteps!" comments. I don't want to go into ministry just because my parents are, and that's why for so long I didn't. But now, God I feel like your pulling at my heartstrings, telling me to go! I want to follow in your footsteps, not those of people.
Does this make sense? I mean I guess it would, being that I'm asking the God of the universe, the Creator of all, who knows all and sees all. So God right now I just pray that if it's your will that I pursue missions instead of culinary (ouch, that hurts to say!)that You will just show me so clearly. Maybe that's what this summer will be! Work in me!
Following You alone,
Joanna
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