Safari

"This is my prayer in the desert. When all that's within me has run dry."

Just singing those words makes me feel closer to my Savior. Right now, well lately, I've felt dry. My heart still beats for the Lord. My every desire still revolves around who He is and His heart - for me and more importantly...others. My goal is still to move to Africa within the next few years. But it almost seems like these desires have dried up everything else.

Africa is my heart. I miss it everyday. I miss the people everyday. I long to be there, everyday. Everyday, I dream about all the things that God will do! Everyday, I fall more in love with my African babies that I know God will somehow, at sometime, put into my life. Every verse about missions, poverty, love, the Gospel, the life of Christ...it all reminds me of Africa.

Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I am obsessed (well, that's not really a maybe). I know, without a doubt, that God is calling me to Africa. I know that He has called me to be a mother to the motherless, a sister to the sisterless. I know He has a place for me, a plan for me, a hope for me, and a heart for me.

So why is the waiting part so hard?

So, here I wait. I know God has me here for a purpose. One of which, I feel is my current job. I love it! Serving women and children, all for the sake of the Gospel? Yes please! But yet everyday, every night, every afternoon, every morning and every evening, my mind is on Africa. I know God is teaching me things. Instead of complaining about waiting, I should be thanking Him. Every morning when I get up, I should be saying "Jesus! I'm one more day closer to moving to Africa!" instead of "Ugh...I just want to go!...(insert childish tantrum here...)" Right now, I know He's just with me saying "Hold tight, Joanna, not yet. Just wait..."

So right now...I wait. I thank God for His working, His moving, His leading. I am 20, single, living with my parents, working two jobs, and hopelessly in love with Jesus. This is who He has made me. This is His plan for my life right now. So, I hold tight to the promises He's given me. I hold tight, knowing that He has made me for more than this. I hold tight, seeking the Lord for that refreshing drink that brings me from the desert to the oasis.