An accident, a longing and a Love...

This last week did not go as I wish it had. All was normal till Thursday afternoon. I got into a car accident. It was my fault, I rear ended someone, the air bags went off, and my van was totaled. Thankfully no one was hurt (I am sore, have a few bruises and my pride was hurt a bit though). This was my first accident involving another car and I was a wreck. It was one of those things that as I was coming up on the car, I knew I was going to hit them. So I just started yelling "Jesus! Jesus" and then it happend, and my tears came flooding out. Funny thing though, the night before at work in chapel we talked about Jehovah Shalom - the Lord of Peace. While I was waiting for my dad to come, I just cried out His name over and over. Jehovah Shalom - You are my peace. Then my bff's mom (practically my second mother) saw us and came and waited. I sat in her car and she prayed those same words over me - Jehovah Shalom. The Lord is my peace. He showed this to me a lot that day.

Then tonight, Sunday night, I was feeling empty. I feel a longing for a Godly man, for a husband. Which, I know this may shock many of you, but it is true...I too dream of a wedding day to an amazing man of God. Some days are just a recognition of excitement for that day and then there are days when it's achey type longing. But I know, it's all in the Lords hands.

So I turned on some worship music and How He Loves came on. And, the Lord gave me such a vivid picture! It was like last Thursday, there was so much more that could happen, all rolled into a giant ball. But my Jesus, my Shalom was holding it all back saying "I love you baby girl, I am protecting you. I will never leave you alone with your trials!" He is my Daddy! The Lord just reminded me that just like my earthly Father, when something happens, He's there to put His arms around me and tell that it's going to be ok. He shows me that His love fixes it all. He's holding me.

So now, as I recover from my bruises, as I look for a car, as I pay the ticket and as I got about my normal life, my Daddy is there. He's carrying me through it all. But He's not just a crutch. When I am weak, He makes me strong. When I'm scared, He makes me brave. When I don't know what to say, he gives me words. When I feel lost and completely hopeless He is my direction, my peace, my hope, my joy...my Love.