All in

Week two has been...many things. In ways, it was easy but yet hard, it was encouraging, it was full of Jesus, it brought much laughter but also many tears, but overall it brought much, much joy.

In the aspect of life...all is good. Jet lag is now a thing of the past, I now look forward to bucket showers. Cleaning toilets isn't so bad, hauling water isn't as terrible as I once thought and rice beans are almost exciting to me. I absolutely love my team! All 14 of us are bonding together quickly. They offer support, laughter, good conversation, and good competition in spoons, Dutch blitz and speed scrabble. I love these people.

This last week in lecture, we were talking about the topic of the Father Heart of God. In ways it was hard, but yet it was easy and refreshing. I don't come from a broken home with an absent father. I don't have daddy issues that leads me hating him and I don't have a bad home life. But yet, when looking at God as my Father, my own father doesn't quit add up. I love my dad, I respect him and greatly appreciate everything he is and does for our family.But in the end, he is human. He has faults. he sins. But my Heavenly Father, He has the perfect blend of love and justice. He is my constant support, my rock, my healer, my therapist. He is perfect.
Half way through the week, we had a day where we would think of things in our past causing us pain and then we handed them over to Jesus. This was hard because I guess I just assumed I didn't have pain like that. I was thinking pain from an abussive or absent father or something along those lines. But to sit and write my own pain - that was hard. It was pain that I caused myself, things that I tricked myself into believing which then caused pain. But after giving to Jesus, it was like a refreshing rain! Praise my Savior, my pain is gone!

Every morning we have worship and intercession time. This is one of my favorite times of the day. I get to be with Jesus and nothing else matters. It's like the whole world just disappears  even though I am in a fairly small room with like 18 other people. It's crazy. I feel God's presence, I feel Him speaking to me...I just feel Him right beside me.

I know there will be many challenging weeks ahead. I know I will fall on my knees, in tears, before Jesus many more times before June. But I am so ready. I am so ready to be broken and molded.

 I am all in.