This Week....

This past week (maybe the last two) has been all sorts of battle. Emotional battles, battles to stay awake in class, a battle to focus on anything, a battle to be motivated, a battle to not just curl up and eat mandazi (deep fried bread, with sugar...so like a not as sweet doughnut). But, I sit here, on friday night, feeling mostly victorious.

Let me explain. During this time, I see Jesus so clearly. He speaks to me, I speak to Him. I worship Him, He reveals Himself over and over. So pretty much, our relationship is growing, leaps and bounds, and it's growing fast. But there is an enemy, a little turd of an enemy, who doesn't like this. So, he tries to stop. So, I hurt my knee, my arm, I got sick, I was exhausted. Jesus still won. So then, he goes after my emotions, my mood, my mind and honestly, it feels like my sanity too.

I felt the need to be honest with my parents about things. So, I told them. But, fear, worry, shame, guilt and much more followed. I've had random dreams - and a lot of them. And my mind wanders to them, trying to make something out of nothing. I've had this "thing" nudging at me saying that I'm alone, or I'm unhappy, or I'm desperately homesick. Well, to the enemy, I have one word. LIES.

Bringing thing into the light is healthy. Those feelings of shame and guilt fall to the ground at the name of Jesus. While I do believe God speaks through dreams, there are dreams that mean nothing at all. So, by the sound mind that the Lord has given me, those too will fall to the ground. I am exceedingly happy and grateful to be here. I am surrounded by some amazing, Jesus loving, Africa loving, hilarious, caring, genuine believers/worshippers/intercessors/companions/friends/brothers/sisters. I am in the exact place that God has called me to.

So, as today ends, I am in awe of my Jesus. Yes, I miss home and people from home. Yes, not every day is a happy party. Some days are straight up hard, exhausting and sometimes painful. But in all of that, I do not doubt the plans of my Savior. I don't doubt that in all of that, He is fulling His promise of giving me life and abundant, full and free.
John 10:10
Matthew 9:22,25