The other day I read an article that someone posted on Facebook. Normally, I really don’t care about all the articles or links shared. But this cought my eye - 10 secrets missionaries will never tell you. (go read it! http://www.churchleaders.com/outreach-missions/outreach-missions-articles/175891-adam-mosley-secrets-missionaries-wont-tell-you.html#.VA13wrl9DLk.facebook) While reading it, I realized how it is so true - I then reposted it.
But the more I thought about it, I wonder why it’s like that. Openness and honesty is valued. Especially in the realm of church and missions. But why is that when someone is in Christian service of any kind, in any nation (including their home nation) we can’t be totally open. I’m not talking about the kind of openness where I could tell all my supporters about every detail of my day including the number of visits to the latrine. But I mean the kind of openness where I can say when things are just hard. When things are frustrating. When I feel totally incapable of what God has called me. And when I get to those points of being so tired - in every way possible - that I just want to crawl in my bed and not see another person, not hear another word of Kinyarwanda or deal with anything.
Whether it’s a spoken thing or not - missionaries are put on a shelf for the rest of the world, both Christian and secular, to watch, observe and critique. Growing up as a missionaries kid, I saw this all the time. Now as a missionary myself, I see it. It’s as if by answering the call to missions we agree to be an exhibit in a museum. And exhibit that people can watch and learn from. We are expected to be “super Christians”, to pray every single second and to have the Bible memorized verbatim. But everyone forgets that we are people too. I am full of sin, selfishness, laziness - all of those things that “normal” people have to. I get annoyed at our co-workers, I get tired of praying or preparing Bible studies and messages. And here’s some more honesty - I get tired of being poor, of wearing the same clothes over and over and over. I get tired of having to carry water every time I want to shower. I get tired of feeling gross because I was too lazy or tired to carry water to shower. I get tired of rice (so tired!), beans, and cooked banana’s. And so many other things. But yet I, and I think most other missionaries, feel like we can’t fully express that to the mass of our supporters. I know I can complain about the hardships of my life to my family and friends and they'll listen. But sometimes when I sit down to write ministry updates I want to say things like “it won't stop raining and mud is everywhere.” or “it really, really sucks riding on the bus for 2 hours, practically hiking a mount for 20 minutes just to share the Word for 20 minutes” or “ my brain will explode if I try to learn anymore kinyrwanda!”. And I want to say that because thats the honest truth of what's going on in my life. Not because I want a pity party. As you can tell from this and previous posts, I value honesty and openness. And I guess this specific topic is my pet peeve.
So, here is the link of the article that sent me on this rant. I am not writing this all our for pity. I don’t expect everyone reading to feel the need to sympathize with me. But the bottom line is this - if someone working in business had a really crappy day, they could tell all about it and no one would question their spiritual maturity. But if a missionary has a crappy day and complains about it - we are seen as spiritually immature or a bad missionary. So, read this list and learn from it. I pray it changes how you see missionaries and how you interact with them. In fact, here’s some homework - bless a missionary by asking them how they really are. If they rant on about difficulties in their life, be there to listen, pray and love. Let them let it all out and encourage them to keep going. Because honestly - sometimes thats all I need. Just a “Jesus is doing big things. Keep at it. Don’t give up.” Just because missionaries have bad days or may complain about things, it doesn't negate thier calling or thier heart. It doesn't mean that they want to quit and move back to a normal life. It means that life is hard and we need other people to love us, encourage us and push us to keep going!
Thanks for listening to my crazy rant...But in it all, I smile and have joy. Because as hard as it is, the missionary life is where it's at. And at the end of the day, I still have to pinch myself to realize and I am actually living in Rwanda!
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