Yup, I'm going to hate myself in the morning, there's no stopping it. Right now its almost midnight and I have to be up in, oh about 6 hours. Once again, I cannot sleep! So here I sit, on my bed, in the dark, with music on. Why do thoughts always come when I'm trying to sleep? Hmnnnn......good thing to ponder. Only if I begin to ponder it, I will just be up even later then I am now, so maybe thats not such a great idea.
I always feel inspired to blog. For some reason, there's something in me that makes me think someone actually reads my blogs and may even follow it, but haha I know thats so not true. Maybe, just maybe I have one or two friends plus my mother that might read once in a while. But, I guess that doesn't really matter. It's a good outlet for my thoughts, and I can actually go back and read them later! My handwriting is usually so bad that it is almost impossible to read later!
So thoughts...As the theme has been since July 8thish, I miss Africa! I miss it so much and almost feel empty when I think about it. It's like I belong there, and right now this isn't normal life, it's a visit. Africa, I miss you and would give anything to come back! You know how I've said over and over that I would infact do or give anything to go back? You know, like what I pretty much just said? It looks like it might be getting put to the test! I applied for a two month internship/missions trip for next summer. It's back in South Africa and back in Diepsloot! So, what am I going to have to do or give to get there? Well, money! Sadly, traveling is so expensive! This trip is like $2,000 plus a plane ticket ($1,500-$2,000) plus any spending money I might want/need. So, here it is. I feel called to go back, so that means I feel called to save money and budget smartly, right? Seems pretty easy huh? But then new movies come out that look good. Going out for dinner or whatever with friends sounds like just too much fun! So here it is. Joanna, you are going to cut back on spending! You do not need all that junk! Every time you want something, think about what you're saving for! Ok, now that I've yelled at myself, I think that subject is complete.
So, on Wednesday I have my first exam in my Cell Biology class. One word= ick! I mean my teacher is pretty cool and I think I understand stuff ok, but the two things that don't mix well with Joanna are exams and biology! Jesus, make a freaking genius!
I feel like there's so much going on in life, but yet when it's all categorized, it's not that much at all! Sometimes, it's like life is going by so fast that I totally miss it. I don't want to miss my life! I want to enjoy and use how ever many years I have to do some good! I've wasted way to much time with being afraid, or lazy, or just doing what I want. I think of all the times I was teaching clubs or this last summer when we were out on ministry that I just wasted the day because I "wasn't feeling it". That's so selfish! There are people that maybe that was their only chance to hear, but no I was too lazy! I don't want to waste what I've been given!
I've been listening to Josh Wilson alot lately, and I find it just "ahhh...". Like, "stress is gone, fears are gone, Gods got it" type of relaxation.
This post is all over the place, but whatever. I just realized that I really like the word Genesis. It's sort of got that epic feeling to it, but yet has such a simple meaning. The beginning. Genesis. Pretty intense huh? It's just one of those things. Which sounds better? 1. "This is my new beginning" or 2. "This is my genesis". Defiantly the second! I feel like God, at the beginning of time might have felt the same way. It's like He decided that some words just needed that epic and strong sound to them. Some words just hold such intense power! Like the word Genesis!
Ok, since this is all over the place, I shall go! I still feel super awake so it's time for some Word time!
Me.
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